She indicated a chair and said, "You are at the head of the table, Mr. Paris, like the man of the house, April will be over there and I will sit closest to the kitchen."The turkey was delicious and the meal went pretty much without incident except for the amount of wine that was consumed. At one point, because of the way they were acting and giggling he was sure that the girls were playing "footsies" with each other under the table.When the meal was over, Mae stood up as if to take away some dishes and said, "Let me get some of the food off the table before we have desert."It was an innocent enough statement until April said, "Here is some you can have," and flipped a spoonful of mashed potatoes across the table at her.It hit Mae just above the top of her blouse and it slowly slid down her cleavage, out of sight. With a roar of laughter she reached down and pulled out her left breast along with a handful of potatoes, which she promptly threw at April. April retaliated by starting to. Grace could tell Sue was embarrassed and ashamed, her expression telling us she understood and forgave Sue, the hug she gave Sue giving the same message.Seeing the look of love and support between these two friends, I had a moment of vivid clarity. How could I ever live with this situation? Forever having to disappoint one of these two wonderful women. It wasn’t fair to either or in any way right. Both wanted a man who could be there for them whenever they needed. Not whenever they needed, provided it didn’t clash with me being with the other. What kind of a love or life would that be?With this hardest of realizations hurting my head, I momentarily tuned out, lost in a different world for a moment, suddenly tuning back in to hear the end of a conversation, hearing Sue’s words to Grace.“… give Pete and me a few minutes please, then he can come to you.”Maybe this was some guy’s secret fantasy, tossed between two women, but at that moment it was my idea of hell. It broke my heart not to.
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